


Wait For It

by nahtte



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Jealous Finn, Light Angst, M/M, Poe Dameron/Finn Fluff, Protective Poe Dameron, mostly happy ending, self-doubting finn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 03:48:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7084441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nahtte/pseuds/nahtte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn feels worthless and unwanted. Poe just wants Finn to be safe. General Leia is stuck in the middle between the two. Finn knows that he loves Poe, but that doesn't stop him from being jealous of the missions Poe is being sent on. Poe is worried about Finn and goes to the General to try and keep him safe, which means taking Finn off missions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wait For It

**Author's Note:**

> yes, this is very very much so based on Wait For It from Hamilton, but you know, when inspiration comes... I don't mean to directly use lyrics from the song but it happens, a lot. Hamilton is great musical and Lin is a genius.   
> Also, there may be grammatical or punctuation mistakes, sorry about that.   
> Enjoy!!

Finn was used to restless nights.

 

The First Order would often have jobs for storm troopers to do during weird hours, so Finn got used to not sleeping much. When he escaped, Finn's body still needed much less sleep to function. 

He could often be found laying in his bed staring at the ceiling, thinking of anything and everything that came to his mind.

One particular night, Finn thought about Poe. Well, Poe's body.

Finn knew that he had more than just platonic feelings for Poe, so when he thought about Poe's cold, lifeless body, Finn got worried. 

 

Ever since Finn woke up from the comea, he couldn’t help but think that he didn’t belong. He’d been on missions, but never got the chance to actually make a difference. That’s all he wanted to do. Make the general proud, make Poe proud. To make himself Finn, not FN-2187, that’s all he wanted. It wasn’t that Finn didn’t have anything to contribute to the Resistance, he wasn’t falling behind other soldiers, in fact Finn was much better than them, it was that the other Resistance members didn’t trust him and Finn knew that. 

 

He tried to spend time with others, to make them start to trust the ex-Stormtrooper, but no matter what he did, Finn was always being taken off missions or being told that he needed to do a job when others went out. Others like Poe. Sure, Finn loved Poe, that much was obvious, that didn’t stop him from being jealous of Poe.

Poe was never taken off missions. He was sent on extra missions that anyone could do. They didn’t need the best pilot in the Resistance to fly them, yet Poe was still assigned to them. Finn loved Poe but that didn’t stop him from comparing himself to Poe. 

 

The nights when Finn would wake up in a cold sweat, breathing hard, he would sometimes get out of bed and wander the halls. On these nights, Finn would discourage himself from going to Poe; instead he’d walk the halls thinking the absolute worse of himself.

 

_ Poe doesn’t hesitate _ , Finn would think.  _ He’s not afraid of speaking his mind to the General. He doesn’t waste any time doing what he needs. Poe is always facing some battle, yet he never breaks. Why can’t I be like that?  _

 

Poe always knew when Finn was walking the halls. At first, Poe just thought that Finn was learning the compound at night but he soon realized that Finn’s night walks were not as harmless as they seemed. 

One night, the night that ruined that harmless image, Poe heard Finn pacing outside his door. Poe almost got up to offer to walk with Finn when he the sound of shuffling feet was replaced with soft sobs. There was a soft thump of Finn laying his head on the room door. 

“What is it like… What is it like being you?” Finn sobbed softly before continuing down the hall as his sobs grew even softer. 

The day after that fateful night, Poe nervously walked into the General’s office. 

“Poe?” The General asked seeing that Poe wasn’t his usual gregarious self. 

 

“I um… I need a favor…” Poe said as he slowly sat down, never making eye contact with Leia. 

Poe knew it wasn’t right to ask this of someone who had already given so much to him, but Poe needed to. He couldn’t focus unless he was sure that the man he loved was going to be safe. 

“This is about Finn isn’t it?”

Poe looked up at Leia, surprised. 

 

“I know how you feel about him. I’m pretty sure everyone does, actually,” the General joked trying to bring some light back to Poe’s solemn face. 

 

“I need to know he’s safe when I’m not here. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I… I can’t focus and I-” Poe said stumbling over his own words.

 

“I know. I’ll try my best, but there’s only so much I can do until he catches on.” Leia warned.

 

“It’ll be enough. Just promise me… please… you don’t have to keep it… please promise me,” Poe begged. 

 

“ I promise.” 

The General kept her promise and took Finn off of any and all potentially dangerous missions. Poe dying due to an unfocused mind, even if the reason was love, would be so much worse than keeping Finn off of a few missions.  _ Just until these two fix this themselves.  _ Leia promised herself. 

  
  


“General, you were looking for me?” Finn walked into the General’s office and sat down across from her.

“Yes… I’m going to need you to stay back on this mission again.” Leia said, looking at Finn pittingly.

Finn jumped out of the chair, his anger flaring up. 

 

“Why?! You keep taking me off missions!” Finn yelled. 

 

Leia simply waited for Finn to calm down, fully expecting this reaction. It was obvious to her and almost everyone that Finn was tired of not having anything to do. 

She was well aware that the usual excuses of ‘you’re not healed yet’ or ‘we need you here’ weren’t fooling Finn anymore, but she couldn’t tell him the real reason. 

 

“You can’t control what happens out there. You can’t control who lives and who dies.” Leia said, her love for Han burning on. 

 

“I am the one thing in life I can control! There’s a reason I’m still alive, I’m willing to fight! I’m ready to fight!” Finn begged.

 

“We’re going to need you, but for now, stay here. I promised I would.” Leia said. 

 

“Promised,” Finn said as he realized what she meant, “Poe.”

The General watched in satisfaction as Finn got up and left her office. 

  
  


Poe heard his name called from the General’s office and followed Finn as he walked out of the office. 

“Hey Buddy, What’s up?” Poe said, concerned for Finn.

Finn walked down the hallway faster, ignoring Poe.

 

“Finn… Finn! What’s wrong?” 

Poe ran to catch up to Finn. He reached out and just barely grabbed Finn’s wrist. 

 

“What!? What do you want!” Finn yelled, attracting the attention of all passersby.

Poe retracted from Finn. The others in the small hallway scattered, not wanting to be a part of the coming argument.  

 

“I just want to make sure you’re ok,” Poe said as he tried to pull Finn closer to him, needing to know that he was ok.

 

“That’s it right! You just want to make sure that I’m ok. Well next time that you decide to ‘keep me safe’, make sure that  _ I’m  _ okay with it!” Finn yelled as he stormed into his room. Poe followed closely behind. 

 

“So she told you.” 

 

“No, actually, even the General respects your  _ all mighty  _ requests,” Finn retorted. 

 

“Finn… I’m not all mighty! I’m terrified of losing you!” Poe said as he sat down on Finn’s bunk. 

 

“Because you love me right? Everyone keeps telling me that you-” 

 

“I do love you,” Poe said as he cut off Finn. 

 

Finn got a little distracted by that, but quickly recovered, remembering the situation behind Poe’s confession. 

“I love you too, but you don’t see me running around taking you off missions!” Finn sat down on the bunk next to Poe.

 

“I can’t focus when you’re on a mission. All I think of is losing you and someone else ends up getting hurt,” Poe said, leaning his head on Finn’s shoulder.

 

"Death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints...  And if I die-" Finn said, gesturing to himself at 'sinners' and Poe at 'saints', getting cut off by Poe. 

 

"You are not a sinner, Finn!" Poe stood up, yelling now.

 

Finn chuckled a little.

"Yeah an ex-stormtrooper, definitely a saint." Finn said, barely audible. 

 

Poe crashed down on the bed, taking Finn's face between his hands,

"You are different now, you're good Finn. From the moment you decided to save my life, to not shoot, you started being yourself, you allowed yourself to feel the light side. Don't ever forget that Finn. You’re Finn, not FN-2187.” 

 

Poe slowly stroked Finn's cheeks as tears started to trickle down, cooling Finn's face.

 

"But what if Rey dies? What if you die? You keep saying that you get distracted by that thought, but it haunts me too," Finn mumbled.

 

"Then you will keep going, for us, for you, for the Resistance. Death is a consequence of war, but when we know what we're fighting for... It's a price I'm willing to pay." Poe said trailing off, remembering everyone he's lost. 

 

"I'm scared I'll lose you, but that doesn’t mean I want you to stay here instead of going on missions," Finn stopped fidgeting with the hem of Poe's, now his own jacket, and looked at Poe with his big brown eyes. 

 

"I know, it’s just that… I’m scared too," Poe said sincerely, "I'm afraid that you're going to go out there and sacrifice yourself as some kind of a.. a..." 

 

Poe stood back up and started pacing the room as he searched for a word.

 

"Reconcile?" Finn offered, thinking of the many situations he’d give his life to save another. 

"Exactly!" Poe came back to the bed and sat down, Finn fidgeted with the jacket again. 

 

"But you have nothing to reconcile for," Poe continued, "you were taken from your family and were conditioned and brainwashed. The minute that you could think for yourself, you realized that what you were expected to do was wrong. That's a good guy in my book." 

 

Poe took Finn's chin and angled it up, forcing Finn to look him in the eyes.

 

“I’m not afraid of death, Finn, but I am afraid of losing you-” 

 

“You’re not going to,” Finn tried to say, as Poe cupped his face. 

 

“Just… Wait,” Poe continued, “If I do lose you, I know it’s going to be for a good reason. You’re going to die trying to saving someone, but I shouldn’t hold you back because I’m scared of losing you.”

 

Finn tried to deny and interject again, but Poe continued.

 

“You’re right, Death doesn’t discriminate, but we keep living, we keep going for those we’ve lost. I love you Finn,” Poe chuckled a little, “we’re probably better off together anyway.”

 

“Yeah… less likely to die.” Finn said as he moved closer to Poe, their lips almost touching.

 

“Less likely to die,” Poe whispered against Finn’s lips. 

 

Finn smashed his lips into Poe’s, Poe’s chuckles reverberating through Finn.

  
In that moment Finn realized that he wasn’t standing still, he was simply lying in wait. Finn realized he wasn’t useless to the Resistance, to the General, to Rey, to Poe. He had a purpose; he may not currently know what it was, but Finn had a purpose. There was a reason that he was still alive when other Stormtroopers had died, when other Resistance had died. Whatever that reason was, Finn was willing to wait for it. 


End file.
